The Anti-Ungulate League ventured into the uncharted waters of New Brighton last week for a taste of auxiliary-style fish fry. The Tri-City Legion was everything we’d hoped it would be: Lots of fish, lots of atmosphere, lots of grease, lots of memories. Unfortunately, there were also lots of non-fish dinners being ordered at the table. Someone even ordered a salad, if my memory serves correctly. Funny thing about memories, though: They can change. Like a photograph of a face that’s been scratched out, memories can be abolished, or even made different. Made… better? Perhaps. Consider the photographs below. Certain people–some may call them traitors, guilty of the sin of fish betrayal–have been removed from the images. It’s as if their crimes never happened. It’s as if… they never existed in the first place.
And so we are left with nothing but happy memories:
A handsome plate if ever there was one. The bun was tasty, and the potato was excellent, especially with the sour cream in that delightful pyramidal contraption. The fish itself was incredibly greasy, but clearly homemade. The flavor was there, even if you had to pick through a nearly impenetrable wall of fried batter to get to it. It was also huge. This photo doesn’t quite do it justice. Try this one:
Or this one, conveniently shown juxtaposed with Claudia’s head for scale:
Speaking Claudia’s head, what’s with that face? She was making it all night:
Here’s an artistic rendering of “Claw Face,” in burger leftovers:
Agh, did someone say burger?! Some memories have a way of sneaking back in. Sorry.
Continuing on: Amanda passed her funny little camera around the table to get these great shots, so of course someone had to do the classic through-the-beer-glass shot:
A little easy, if I do say so myself. But nice colors.
A couple more shots of the group:
And one last one of the best snack machine I’ve ever seen, color-coded for convenient snacking:
If I hadn’t eaten fish that night, I would’ve hit the yellow row hard. But who goes to the Tri-City Legion on Fryday and doesn’t order fish? I can’t imagine such a person existing.
I would just like to point out that those that did not eat fish have broken the No NMAUL Code. Lets revisit the code to avoid this fatal mistake in the future (yes, it was fatal. R.I.P. my burger eating friends*).
The No NMAUL Code:
On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to eat fish; to help other people eat fish at all times, especially on Fridays during Lent, which as far as I can tell has something to do with Jesus and sacrifice or something, which is weird because fish is delicious, but what do I know; to keep myself physically strong enough to go back for seconds, mentally awake enough to decide whether or not to go back for thirds, and morally straight enough to leave room for dessert.
* I didn’t do it.